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Grief During the Holiday Season
Dec 10, 2018
Making it through Christmas
What does Christmas mean to you? For many people, it's a joyous time of year, a time to celebrate family and friends, and a time to be grateful for life's blessings, remembering important days gone by and rejoicing in the present moment. For others, though, Christmas is a painful season, when the vacant spaces left by lost loved ones make them wish the holidays would pass quickly. How do you celebrate Christmas, when you don't feel like celebrating anything?
- Don't cancel Christmas. It may be tempting to hide away from the holiday, but you'd be doing yourself a disservice. Instead, decide how you want to celebrate it, and let your loved ones know about changes you plan to make. You may want to get away entirely, maybe taking a vacation this Christmas, or you may be comforted by familiar traditions. Everyone grieves differently, and how you choose to spend your holiday is yours to determine.
- Keep the world out if that's what you need. Even for people in good spirits, the commercialism and constant cheer of Christmas can be a bit wearing. If you're grieving, it's likely to be nearly unbearable. Take some quiet time, to do something you enjoy, without any interference from the outside world. Maybe that's doing some holiday baking, maybe it's reading a book and listening to your favorite music, or maybe it's something completely unrelated to Christmas, like going for a pedicure or facial, taking a walk, or seeing a movie. The important thing is to find a way to relax and enjoy yourself.
- Don't expect perfection. You may have hosted a Pinterest worthy Christmas meal every year in your home, and your decorations may have been the best of anyone you know, but this year, it might be time to let some things go. Put up a tree, or don't. Make a big meal, or delegate it to someone else, or don't have it at all! Shop for the perfect gifts, or give everyone gift cards you ordered online. It may help you to do the things you've always done, or it may benefit you to go for whatever is easiest. There's no wrong answer, but don't put pressure on yourself to live up to the "perfect" Christmas.
- Let people in. Talk to your friends and family members about how you're feeling. Spend time with your favorite people, and accept offers of help and support. While it's certainly fine to turn down invitations you think will be stressful or painful, it's also important to feel connected with other people. Sharing your feelings and memories with those you love can help you begin to heal.
We hope that your Christmas this year will be meaningful. That's why we offer assistance to those who have lost a loved one, through grief counseling, support groups, recommended reading, and services of remembrance. If there's any way we can help you this Christmas, as you work your way through a difficult time, please don't hesitate to contact us.
According to the Center for Disease Control, the average life expectancy for a person living in the United States is 78.6 years. Women on average live slightly longer than men. Our own mortality is not something most people think about on a daily basis. However, it is something that bubbles up in our consciousness from time to time.
There are lots of labels out there. There are categories we are placed in by others or designations we choose on our own. We are male or female, brown, black, or white, boomers or millennials, Baptist, Methodist, Lutheran, republican or democrat. Each of these labels comes with a set of expectations regarding what we value or care about. Because we are male or female, republican or democrat, a set of values is attached to us.
Sometimes people make something appear so simple and effortless that we forget how complex the task really is. We begin to undervalue its accomplishment.
If you are thinking about planning your funeral it is a good sign you are not too young. Although most people tackle this task when they are preparing to retire or after the children have left home, many plan sooner. In reality, most plan because they want to or need to. Age is not the determining factor. Whatever the reason you are thinking about planning your funeral, trust yourself. It is a good enough reason. Don’t worry that you are not “old” enough.
Historically speaking, burial vaults were conceived as a means of protection from grave robbers. They were designed and intended to make it difficult to get into the coffin and remove valuables or even the body itself from the grave. Early vaults were made of wood and were called a “rough box” because they were rustic and unfinished in comparison to the more finely finished coffin.
When a life ends, we remember. We remember the love, the bonds, and the passions of the person who died. A well put-together funeral that honors the life, faith, and relationships of the deceased is the first foothold on the path of healing for survivors.
Funerals are beautiful celebrations of life that allow us to say goodbye to people we loved. But there may come a time when attending a funeral is sadly no longer a rare occurrence. Having to attend many funerals can be overwhelming, instigating feelings of grief for many different loved ones. What can you do to help yourself when attending too many funerals becomes overpowering?
For many folks the absolute “best” final resting place is someplace they loved when they were alive. Their “burial” plan is not to be buried at all, but to be cremated and have their ashes scattered at a special location. For those who prefer scattering there are a wide variety of options available. Still, not every scattering idea is a good idea. To help you determine if your scattering plan is a good plan be sure to consider these four things.
A funeral offers a chance to say goodbye, but how do we say our farewells to those who forged the path of our nation? Presidential funerals have proven to be groundbreaking occasions that set the tone for how the nation grieves. Let’s take a look at how we as a country said goodbye to some of our most beloved leaders.
